How To Get Your Spouse To Love You Again?

Like the seasons, love in a relationship grows and wanes.

One of the most common myths in marriages is the belief that when the love wanes the relationship is over.

It is not.

If one's spouse says he has fallen out of love, do not panic.

It does not mean the marriage is over.

Nor the love has ended.

What it does mean is that spouse has lost his or her way, or does not really understand the many stages love and a relationship goes through.

When either that happens, other is naturally called to take charge of the situation, guide that spouse towards understanding this process, and even begin to rekindle the relationship.

The key to success is in understanding what is happening in marriage and the role that love plays.

It is easy for couples to connect losing the feelings of being in love with actual loving when it is not really the case.

After the initial thrill of romance is gone, couples often find themselves lost and confused.

What they do not realize is that love is not just this heady lustful feeling that carries us away.

That feeling has a shelf life.

When the prospect of spending years together sets in, the correct question to ask one's self would be  how to be in love without the initial thrill?

Truth being said, every relationship has stages:

1. falling in love,

2.  the honeymoon stage

3. chaos or disillusionment and finally 

4. mature love or resolution

People are very quick to judge that they no longer love someone just because the feelings fade.

With proper understanding, couples can expect that even if the feeling may not be there, it does not mean they do not love.

In truth, love is a commitment. It is not just a feeling, it is a deed.

A mature person loves by choice and not simply by circumstance.

The next step would be to manage the partner's feelings or lack thereof by starting with dialogue.

Talk about the feelings and find out what happened, where is it coming from?

There are numerous tools and methods available for a couple together or with a counsellor or mediator that would help them examine their present situation.

Talk to the spouse and tell him or her that the relationship deserves at the very least, dialogue.

In dialogue, let the spouse talk and the other listen.

There may be important things one needs to learn about your spouse and your marriage.

On the other hand, couples can also share their feelings about what is happening.

Try not to place blame on each other, however, but share each other's thoughts and feelings rationally.

In the meantime, do some self-improvement. It is never too late to evolve into a happier, more mature and more lovable person.

Even if it is just something couples do for one another. 

For all people know, this new one will be more attractive to the spouse and come as a surprise to him or her.

Finally, couples should not stop reinforcing each other's presence in the marriage.

Instead they should do some positive acts of kindness for each other without expecting anything in return.

These mirrors their mature, positive view of what love really is.

Make these acts little things.

They do not have to be grand gestures.

It is the everyday things that actually build trust, intimacy and love between couples.

Amy WatermanThis article is brought by Save My Marriage Today which has helped save many marriages globally. 

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